AT THE MOVIES . . .

My favorite books-into-movies response was that of James M. Cain, author of Mildred Pierce and Double Indemnity and The Postman Always Rings Twice. Late in his career, he was asked by an interviewer, "How do you feel about what Hollywood has done to your books?" "Hollywood has done nothing to my books," Cain replied. "They're right over there on the shelf, exactly as I wrote them."

Hear hear. The books endure, whether or not the films work. Over the years, I've had three films made based on books of mine, and I haven't been thrilled with any of them. (That's not just author's ego talking, I must say; the critics and the moviegoing public had much the same response. The former threw up their hands and their lunches, the latter stayed home in droves.

NIGHTMARE HONEYMOON, based on my book Deadly Honeymoon, was directed by Elliott Silverstein, who also directed Cat Ballou. The movie stars Dack Rambo and Rebecca Diana Smith, and I can't imagine why anyone would voluntarily watch it all the way through.

EIGHT MILLION WAYS TO DIE was Hal Ashby's last film, and Oliver Stone wrote the first draft of the screenplay, before the locale was switched to LA. The picture boasts fine performances by Jeff Bridges and Andy Garcia---fine performances are all you're ever going to get from those two talented gentlemen---but they were making up the script as they went along, and it's confused and confusing. There are people who liked this one (though I've never met anyone who'd read the book first and liked the movie).

BURGLAR, based on The Burglar in the Closet, starred Whoopi Goldberg as Bernie Rhodenbarr. It's imaginative casting, all right, but Whoopi's okay, if not much like my idea of the character. The script is heavy-handed, though, and so's the direction, and what made them think they needed a car chase? Viewers tended to have a good time laughing throughout the movie, and then on the way out they told each other it wasn't much good. Exactly.

Still, I have high hopes for the following two properties currently in development:

KELLER is the title of New Amsterdam Entertainment's film to be based on Hit Man. Jeff Bridges is on board to co-produce and star as the wistful assassin, and I've seen the screenplay by Patrick McGrath & Maria Aitken, and I have to say I liked it.

For a long time now, I’ve said I didn’t want to do any screenwriting, and I especially didn’t want to write screenplays of my own books. But then the producer explained that they were looking for someone who could rewrite the screenplay and make it more like the book, well, how could I resist? So, the film has a new writer assigned, and I’m him. Or he’s me. Or...

A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES The Universal Pictures production, previously set to begin on January 2003, has been postponed. When I know more, I'll let you in on the news. 

It's been said that having a book under option is like owning a lottery ticket---you're still a long way from the top prize. I have a feeling these pictures may actually get made, and might well be worth seeing. But the one thing you know is that you never know.

As things do or don't develop, and as some other deals I can't yet talk about do or don't come to pass, I'll keep you posted.